Interview: Guardian Jan 2015

Count Arthur Strong’s favourite TV

The semi-retired music hall entertainer on why you should bring back Juliet Bravo and how he finds Duck Dynasty a turn-off

5th Jan 3015

Unmissable show?

Well modesty forbids me to give you my first choice, Count Arthur Strong. So my second-choice unmissable show would be Strictly Come Dancing. Unless I’m at [Arthur’s local] The Shoulder Of Mutton. It’s not on at an ideal time for me, really.

Earliest TV memory?

Watching the 1951 Cup Final when I was smaller than I am now, through Mrs Dean’s sitting-room window, who only had one arm. (Mrs Dean only had one arm, to be clear.) Until her husband drew the curtains, who only had one leg. (Her husband only had one leg, to be clear.) I’ve never forgotten them doing that. As you can see.

Bring back…

Juliet Bravo. Poirot. All Creatures Bright And Beautiful. Anything I was in, actually, so I’d get the repeat fees again. That sounds selfish but it isn’t.

TV turn-off?

You should always turn your television off. I can’t stress that enough. If that’s what you meant? If it isn’t then here’s a different answer. Duck Dynasty. I don’t understand it or like beards.

Pitch us a TV show…

A brand-new cookery programme with a difference! All the recipes are from the Bible! With vicars cooking. I host it dressed as the archbishop of Canterbury or the Pope, I’m not bothered which. Dishes could include: Lamb Of God, Fish And Bread, Water Into Wine etc… Mel and Sue are personal friends of mine.

Mastermind specialist subject?

It would probably be unfair because I possess total recall and me being on Mastermind would be akin to someone card counting in a Las Vegan casino. I’d be better off hosting it.

Bottom of the DVR?

At the bottom of my DVR is a nest of tables I inherited off my auntie Irene. The small one can double as a pouffe to put your feet on when you’re watching the television. Not that I watch much television. There’s never anything good on.

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